AN OPEN LETTER TO ATTORNEYS WHO ADVERTISE ON TV

Dear attorneys who do their own TV commercials,

I know you're spending your advertising bucks to get my business should I find myself going bankrupt, in an accident or any number of other events that make one scream, "I'm going to sue," or "I want a lawyer!" Advertising should be effective and inspire the person watching to feel you're the only one who can do the job.

I'm sorry, but most of you just aren't hacking it for me. If I'm going for blood, I don't want a really nice guy. I've gone that route and been screwed over royally by the diabolical opposing attorney. He has no idea how many people I referred to him after he wiped the floor with my nice guy. I don't want an attorney who is obviously reading a script and whose movements are one step beyond robotic. If litigation is involved, I want Perry Mason posturing and compelling the jury to believe every golden word that spills from his mouth.

If you have a suit that looks like it came of the "complete suit, shirt, tie, shoes and more for only $100 rack" I don't want you. That doesn't say success in my book. I also don't want an attorney who looks like they should be the defendant instead of the one hired to defend.

If I was going bankrupt, I'm not sure an attorney promising only $500 or $1,000 DOWN to get action started would make me pick up the phone (if it was still connected.) After all, if I had some money, I probably wouldn't be filing at all. And that word "down" is scary. I'm sure many people in dire straits wonder if they will have to promise their soul and future income to the devil for the rest of the payment.

Before going on TV to do that commercial--the one that will inspire people to stampede to your door and beg you to counsel them, take a look in the mirror. If you didn't know you, would you want to hire someone with your presentation? Don't get defensive because--well, you're you. Do your pitch in front of that mirror and view the person looking back at you as someone you've never seen before. If your honest reaction is one of the above, or something I haven't even thought of that says, "This isn't your man (or woman)" take thee to an acting coach and stylist. That is, if you are still hell bent on doing your own commercial.

As for me, and I hope I never find myself in that position again, I would be looking for someone who oozes self-confidence, has a good courtroom appearance, a compelling style and is believable even if the presentation is a fabrication worthy of a fiction bestseller.